Bad Blogger!

If being idle on blogging will be fined I might have thousands of payment already. I have been busy and lazy for the past 6 months that there's so much stories to tell. To cut short and give you a gist of my life in the past months...

Baby-related

• I had another episode of bed rest 35 weeks on the way, I needed a 2-week time off because I really bleed
• I gave birth via CS to a healthy baby boy at 8.6 lbs. We called him Asher Cassiel which means "Happy Angel"
• A was circumcised before we left the hospital, it's expensive to have this operation done to a newborn!
• I had a rough first few days at home as my baby kept on crying, which they said due to lack of milk. Que horror we gave him formula :( but still determined to exclusively breastfeed him I read and researched on latching. I never stopped trying to perfect the latch, now he is gaining weight with regular wiwi and poops.
• I was able to let go of the formula, unfortunately Pedia told me baby is not gaining enough so back to formula again but I found out that she measured the weight from the birth weight and not the weight after we got out of the hospital! When I compared, HE IS GAINING WEIGHT!
• We let go of the first pedia and had a visit to pedia 2 which is my nephew's doctor though as soon as we move to Paranaque we will visit a recommended Pedia by my friend who is breastfeeding-friendly
• A had his immunization of Hepa, BCG and 6in1
• I got myself a Lactation Consultant, Pam Magallon of Bossom Buddy, who verified that A is latching well, taught me to hand express, gave tips on diet and how to help baby gain weight.
• On to red rice, fish and veggie. I've been cutting down on sweets for almost a week now.
• No workout until I

House-related

• The condo was turned over
• We have a friend's architect friend to help us in the interior, now we're just waiting for the approval of the electrical plan . Target to move is January 2012.

Me/Hubby-related

• Hubby and I are planning to do some baking lessons by next year. We're looking at Baking 101 classes.
• Another goal to travel, which I hope will happen is on December of 2012... Korea!

That's how my half of the year was spent, well almost. I'm excited this month, it will be A's first Christmas! ^_^

Guilty?!?!

Yes, I'm guilty! Guilty of being lazy to write on my blog or even do the task list I've been staring at the past weeks. I spent the last 2 months doing different stuff: preparing for my sister's bridal shower party and eventually her wedding. Check-ups, ultrasound, condo viewing, listing it down doesn't make me feel like I've done nothing at all.... still my list has been stagnant for months now (*sigh*).

Here's the highlight of the last 2 months on my pregnancy though:

Week: 26th

Current weight: 170 lbs

Tummy Line: 43 inches

I gained a lot and from the last ultrasound the baby is quite big for its normal gestational weight. Its a bit worrying since I'm planning to have a normal delivery and my OB feels that if the baby grows bigger she will recommend CS, which I definitely want to avoid.

My target is to at least do some walking soon but the bad weather these past weeks limits my chance to do some workout. I need to find other ways though, since I feel I'm becoming weak each day and the pain on my back is increasing which already gives a little discomfort when sleeping.

In the next 2 weeks, we will have another ultrasound. This time our OB gave the instruction to see the palate since baby Ash was hiding it the last time. I am pretty sure everything will be fine, all healthy and normal. Hubby and I are excited to see him again! Plus July will be our shopping month, I got a list already from Baby & Co. will just need to find the best place to buy these stuff. I'm doing some research on it and will post the list soon!

My Pregnancy Now

I experienced being pregnant but I don't have a vivid recollection of the first trimester, first kick and generally the whole feeling. All I remember is that I liked chicken curry and I always ate it for lunch at school. Yes, my first pregnancy was when I was still in college so that means I was an immature and penniless parent-to-be. Nonetheless, I don't regret experiencing it all, I love my daughter so much and she's the reason why I worked so hard, the reason why I am still sanely living.

The pregnancy now is different, since I have the experience of a mom, I have the choice to make this phase comfortable in any way and I have the means to acquire what I think is practical and best for my baby. More importantly, what I have now are people who are truly a blessing in this lifetime:

• Friends around the world who's always available to comfort me when I feel I'm at my lowest.
• My family who takes care of me when I feel so immobile
• Husband who gets me around so I will feel comfortable going to where I should be
• In laws who never fails to remember me and ask for my condition
• Bosses who understands my situation and let's me leave work so I can take care of my little one
• Co-workers who covers for me at work so things will be business as usual

I couldn't ask for more. It's love all over the place, in different forms. The stress and depression the last 2 days served me well and I must say its more than the husband not telling the wife he misses her. It's something within. I have to experience everything so I can pick myself up, the sad part was I never realized I was drowning until now.

I am glad I talked to wise friends to remind me of who I am: a strong, independent, smart and loving individual. I miss that, I miss me. Now it's time to get her back.

The blog is titled with the 3 Ls anyway, so let's start laughin', lovin and live life the way we should.

"bawal ma-depress!!!"

Yesterday, I ranted about my thoughts and feelings about my present worries and as the night goes by the stress and depression was keeping up with me. I was crying the whole night and couldn't sleep. Though hubby did sent me a message to go online so we can talk, I refused and just made an excuse that I was not feeling well. I might say something I will regret and worst totally ruin his trip.

When I woke up, I felt ok and sent him a message that I can go online in a bit. I was able to talked to him over YM but it felt like I'm just talking to a friend who's far away. No "babe", no "i miss you" just plain old "kamusta" and stories about their night's escapade. I felt the frustration again and so I decided to make another excuse and go offline. When I logged to YM, my status was "bawal ma-depress", I didn't know he was online and so he asked me what's that about, I just shrugged and didn't give him an answer he didn't bother asking again.

I talked to close friends, asking for advise since the feeling was getting heavy and I'm becoming more depressed. They said I should wait for him to get back before saying whatever I want to say then again after being calm I knew deep inside me what to do. I need to tell him what I feel and why I felt it. I will say it in a constructive manner.

Since I listened to my heart, God made a way for me to talk to him. Hubby sent an email asking if I'm online, I said yes but then I was a bit apprehensive about his response when he said "ah ok sige" as if napilitan. I prayed before talking to him, that I may say the right words and do the right thing to be able to say what I really feel.

We talked, I wasn't able to help it, I cried. He felt bad probably that his pregnant wife is stress out and depress. I can say that we were able to work things out in a way. I still can't see that he misses me and that he's excited to talk to me but I'm all leaving that when he gets back, no need to be nitty gritty at this point.

So what am I saying, distance between two people no matter how long I believe is always a test of love and trust. It may cost the other party to call or send an sms because of the international charges, but heck marriages and relationships are much more worth it. How we express ourselves to let our partner know that we miss them may vary, but the point and goal is you make sure that they feel it because it's something that they will definitely never forget when the rain pours.

To Rant or Not to Rant

But here I go still...

Fact 1:

Hubby is away on a trip where I supposed to join him.

Fact 2:

I'm at home for 3 days now, can't go out.

Okay, I don't want to ruin anybody's trip but all I'm saying is it would be nice if that person will make himself available for calls or SMS because the person on the other side of the world is in her most unusual state. I felt bad when I was not able to get in touch with hubby this AM, I woke up really early and had a hard time going back to sleep so I decided to call him, hear his voice and in a way be comforted. When I checked the time, it was around 6AM there wake up call is 6AM so it's just perfect. I called, "cannot be reached", 3x and still the same. I sent an SMS and even BBMd his officemate. He replied after a few minutes saying he's waiting for the activation of his Aus SIM, I thought that he could have just used the active SIM and check from time to time the other one.

I replied mid afternoon, to both! He's online so I sent a YM, no answer! They had an activity so it's ok, the way he replied though is much like everything was fine. I told him, "buhay pa kami, i miss you too!" It's simple: an endearment of missing someone can already turn a gloomy day, sunny! But no, oh well! Hello married life!

A Preggy Woman's Commitment

I found this when I was browsing some sites and blogs regarding pregnancy...

"I (your name), commits to eating healthy food 5-6 days a week in order to nourish my body and my baby's. I commit to exercising daily in order to be healthy, strong, look and feel great"

I think it's cute, how I wish I can already commit. I'm trying my best to have 80% veggies and fruits in every meal though. But let's see as we move towards seeing a more energetic and happy mommy.

and its....

I was set to fly to Sydney Australia this 6th of April, unfortunately since monday (April 4) I've been experiencing minor cramps and brownish discharge. I rested early monday night, thinking that it might only be a stressful day, I was praying and hoping that the discharge will go away the next day. Early tuesday morning, I did not see anything unusual and the cramps were gone but around mid day there are still spots of brownish discharge. Since I will be having a long trip the next day, I sent an SMS to my OB and she requested to see me immediately.

I went to MMC and upon reaching her clinic Dra. Mae's assistant gave me a request for pelvic ultrasound. Oh no! Another ultrasound! I was thinking of another expense, this is the 3rd time already! I really wanted to wait though the OB Sonologists are on lunch break, seems like one doctor and admin who was there took pity on me and had me up next. I was so thankful, it is yet another simple blessing from above.

During the ultrasound, I made it to a point to have a chit chat with the OB Sonologist and her assistant to keep me calm since hubby was not there and it just feels right to bond with the people who takes care of you for that moment. As I was telling them of my past pregnancy experience, kids and how hubby and I badly wanted a boy, the doctor said "o eto BOY" and I was "HA?!!", "Ayan o" as she showed me the monitor, I had a hard time seeing it though since there's a glare of light bouncing back to the screen and as if I would really recognize. I was really surprised because I didn't expect that at this early they'll be able to see the gender but through research I found out that even at 13 weeks if it's a boy, the baby's gender will be prominent.

But I had to make sure! So I asked the doctor again, "are you sure boy sya talaga?" she checked again and told me "Ayan o naka erect pa!". I just laughed at how my baby showed his thingy to the doctor. Here's the photos the OB gave me:

My Baby BOY Asher Cassiel (tentative name)

He is really growing fast, look at him at 15 weeks!

Though I was advised to stay home, yes another week of bed rest, I'm overwhelmed with happiness to find out the baby's gender so is my husband. He even forgot our expenses for the trip due to the cancellation. It was really an answered prayer, all the trip to Baclaran and Manaoag was all worth it. Now, my next wish for him is he will be healthy and strong when he comes out to this world. With prayers and faith in God, I know he will be.

Preggy Update: Week 12

From this week onwards, I'm planning to document my pregnancy progress. Why? Because I want to know how disastrous I look now than a few months back, hehehe but kidding aside it's just nice to keep track of how a person transforms from a nauseas, grumpy to a jolly mommy-to-be and i hope that these experiences may also help other expecting women. So here goes...

As of March 22, 2011 (Rina's birthday, Happy Birthday Mare! - plugging)

Weight Watch

Height: 5.5"

Weight: 147lbs

Tummy line: 40 inches lower abs

I know it's not a nice sight at this stage, I feel that I'm bigger than the normal pregnancy size but having this experience, a baby growing inside me is simply amazing. So all I do is just sigh that thought away and think of the next few weeks when I can actually feel the baby's kick and response whenever I talk or touch him.

The weight actually is a complimenting story, well I'm nearing the heavy side of my height and weight chart, women my height with large frames has 137-155 minimum and maximum limit. I'm not yet on my 6th month and yet I'm close to that, well another thought to sigh away, the baby needs all the nutrients he needs but ok, at times I'm really guilty of giving in to some unhealthy pleasures especially when I feel bloated, blame the chocolates! I know it's another excuse, but what can I do... it really helps!

How do I feel this week?

1. This week I feel happy because I have passed the 1st Trimester and is saying hello to 2nd Trimester.
2. I am hoping that the bloated and vomit-y feeling, nausea and food aversions will slowly turn their back on me while waving goodbye. Fact is, I still feel the morning sickness but I must admit that its much less than before.
3. I still experience headaches which usually goes with a difficulty to sleep even when all communications are off.
4. I see a thin line of linea negra forming, I thought this is too early.
5. My energy level is yet fully be seen, I think right now she's just 50% here, I really miss her and I hope to see the 100% soon!

What do I plan to improve? Do?

Ever since I knew I'm pregnant, I really told myself that I would like to retain the slightly slim body with the growing bump. Unfortunately, that's not my destiny. But as the morning sickness starts to wear off I would really want to push myself to eat right. I'm still taking a lot of veggies and at times fruits but again guilty as charged for unhealthy food surrounding me. Like, I can't let go of the iced as in lots of ice in my juice, again it does help in soothing the vomit-y feeling.

Tomorrow is my 13th week, what will change? Will keep you posted!

Hello 2nd Trimester!

Finally, the most awaited part! I'm on my 2nd Trimester! Wohooo! The 2nd trimester is what they say the "Honeymoon" part in every pregnancy, it's the time when you really enjoy being pregnant. Well, I'm excited simply because the nausea and morning sickness will start to go away and the risk of miscarriage is greatly cut down. Who wouldn't want to pass that stage? Couldn't be more happier!

Right now, I'm still experiencing the "morning sickness" thing, but I'm keeping myself positive that it will die down soon, really soon(cross fingers)! I am just tired of sleeping while sitting, I have this feeling to vomit if I lie down. I usually feel dizzy and I don't have enough energy. To be honest, the 1st Trimester sucks but the good part is when you see your baby via ultrasound or hear his heartbeat, you feel contented. I guess most of women really have to undergo this joy and pain to motherhood.

Congratulations to all women out there who conquered the 1st Trimester! :)

Challenges of Bed Rest

I'm back in bed, literally. I am supposed to be up and working since last Thursday(March 10, 2011) unfortunately after the first day of work, I had another episode of spotting. I panicked more than the first since this time I can really see the blood. We visited my OB first thing the next day, and lo and behold it was declared of another threatened abortion and needs a rest of 2 weeks.

I am a person who is usually active and on-the-go so a 2-week bed rest is really a drastic change in my lifestyle. I read a few articles on bed rest but to sum it up, here are a few challenges that I am and about to face:

• emotional - a feeling of isolation, mood change, guilt, anxiety and depression. From the different pregnancy articles these are just normal when on this condition
• physical - a feeling of being weak due to long stay in bed. At times I can't even stand properly or walk due to some muscle and joint pains this is what I get when going to the bathroom is the only physical activity I have
• mental - due to lack of physical activity, most of the times I feel dizzy and unable to concentrate on my take home work

So how do we deal with these challenges, here are some advices from the different sites but on some you may just have discovered:

• Make yourself productive by planning your day ahead. If you can take a bath early and do the small things you've been wanting to do early on you will feel a sense of accomplishment immediately and can take more rest in the afternoon
• Talk to close friends or your partner, it helps to communicate what you feel. Most of the time hearing their advices and own experiences makes you feel better. This helped me a lot!
• At night time, let go and pray. Even if you're just starting your bed rest or on mid-way, whatever happens to that day, let go and be thankful that you are still in a healthy and safe condition. This will help you get a good night rest.
• Blog! It helps to write and pour in your creative juices on to whatever topic you want to say.

I am no expert on this, I just write what I have and still experiencing. I am just on Day 4 and I have a long way to go. To keep my schedule full, I prepared my overdue list of to-do's to which I hope to accomplish in 10 days:

1. Complete the Thank You notes, there are at least 80% I haven't sent the card yet.
2. Complete Bridal Book questionnaire.
3. Upload engagement and wedding photos at Photobucket.
4. Complete Sorren's questionnaire
5. Clean up my laptop: emails and files
6. Update my Jesmike & Emy wedding blog, I've been wanting to add what transpired on the day and the thank you message to my suppliers.
7. Select 200 wedding photos for the album

It will be a busy week ahead, indeed but if boredom kicks in, watch this heartwarming video from John Mateos Ong's facebook page. You will feel that you can't wait for your turn to be there, to see your own blessing and bundle of joy.

Thoughts while on bed rest mode

I'm glad I had that one week bed rest though I must admit I was not that productive but then again it wouldn't be called BED REST anyway. I was able to create this blog though, create a tumblr account and almost update my photobucket gallery itsy bitsy stuff that was not planned but it's here.

These past few days I spent a lot of time in bed, I still wake up early since hubby needs to go to work and from Cainta 1.5 hrs travel time is needed. Day 1 to 3 was a bit hard for me, literally I just went down the stairs 3x because I easily felt exhausted. I ate a lot though since my mom kept on trying to feed me nutritious food almost every meal, which I appreciate so much.

I had also thought of the things I want to explore for 2011, I know that there are a lot of things going on like moving to our new home by Q2, before that fixing the house and finding the right furnitures. Then of course by Q3, we're expecting to have our little bundle of joy. Ate Sam, my eldest daughter, will be in college this year. 2011, is really bigger than what we planned - it's exciting! For this year, which I hope I'll have time to do is to enroll in a MAKE-UP CLASS. There's just something about prettifying that makes me smile, I'm curious about the palettes and which one will suit which. I'm amazed on how it transform one person to another without compromising the the natural beauty and personality. So here are the sites I browsed through for some information on the schools in Manila area. I work in Makati and it's the place closer to home so I'm looking at areas to which I won't do a lot of travelling.

• Make up courses in Manila
• Make up schools in Manila
• SOFA Summer Courses Plus a Summer Camp

I need to do some pencil pushing though and really save up, this is the part that I just wish money can drop on my lap so I can do all things I want to try. Oh well, challenges challenges! Positive outlook is indeed a key for us to pursue what we plan. I really hope this wouldn't just be another item on my list which I see every year. So I have to start the mantra: "I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN!"

photo source: http://www.ooohbabybabyllc.com

Mommy, you need a break!

Last Tuesday (March 1) I was experiencing pain in my lower abs, it was quite tolerable though I was a bit wary on my discharge but since I don't see anything unusual yet I still went on with my usual routine. Around late afternoon, I saw a red dot, just one small red dot but I panicked! I called my hubby immediately, almost teary eyed, and told him what I saw. He too felt scared, he asked me to call my OB-GYNE ASAP. The doctor asked me to take Duphaston and Isoxillan, and see her the next day.

My OB, Dra. Mae Syki-Young is the 4th doctor I met after we confirmed I was pregnant. I was looking for this OB who I can connect and be comfortable with. Dra. Mae, was actually referred by my boss, his wife is also pregnant and he's been giving me good feedback about her, so I tried seeing her then. Dra. Mae has a lot of patients in her Makati Medical Center (MMC) Clinic, as in the first time I went there, I was patient number 26! Talk about long waiting lines huh! She is also an accredited OB in Intellicare, which makes it even better for me. The first time I came to her, I immediately felt comfortable, she's not rushing the check up though she still has a lot of patients to see and even if I'm a health card member referral. She looks very elegant but talks to you in a relaxing manner, more like chikahan type of voice.

So the next day, when I went to see Dra. Mae I showed her the photos of the red spot, I made sure that I took a photo to make her see what really transpired, she confirmed that its blood. She requested to have our Transvaginal Sonography (TVS) or ultrasound immediately to check how the baby is doing. The TVS cost at MMC is around Php 2330.

Here's the result of the TVS, my baby has a human form already, like my mom said "tao na sya".

Waving at mommy and daddy, look at the hand.

look at me i'm super likot

I was teary eyed when I saw the baby, he's super active and keeps on moving his hands and feet. We just can't help but feel overwhelmed with happiness seeing our almost 1.5 inches baby waving at us. The result of the TVS was all good, but still Dra. Mae wants to ensure the safety of the baby since I'm still on my first trimester. The cause? Probably stress, exhaustion or merely plain sensitive cervix, it can be any and all of the above. So I just agreed on the 1 week bed rest, no going out of the house and no shopping! I'm on my 6th day today and I think/feel that everything is going to be fine.

a new chapter, a new blog

Now that the wedding is over and done and we're starting a new chapter, it just make sense to create a new blog to write on the learnings, ups and downs and experiences of married life. I'm extremely excited on the next things to come.

At first, everything feels pretty the same, maybe because our own home is yet to be ready until 2nd quarter of 2011 and so the feeling to be fully independent is still floating. Currently, we live in Paranaque on weekdays (his side) and Cainta on weekends (my side) which somehow works to our advantage as we both adjust to our daily routine.

It's almost 3 months that we're married and so far the adjustment has been fairly well but the first biggest blessing to our hoping to be a blissful married life came last January 22, 2011. The day we found out that I'm expecting, it was quite a surprise since I thought I will have a hard time conceiving and we were thinking to put off first the baby thing to start travelling, then again I guess we will start this experience as a family with Ate Sam and the new baby in tow. Indeed another chapter unfolds for me and hubby. Being pregnant after 15 years feels like the first time and for my hubby, he's extremely excited.

To be sure I used 2 HPT (home pregnancy test) and both came out positive. We just can't wait to tell our family especially to hubby's parents since this will be the first grandchild on their side. Everyone is just happy hear the news.

At times we feel that things happen really fast, the thought and feeling of being married hasn't sink in yet and now here we are, yet another stage, another step of becoming a more mature and responsible individuals. I'm just glad with how the blessings poured in, I'm sure it's within His time and plan.